For a split second, I always think to start my blog posts with something like "Omono hasn't been talking much lately eh?" Then I realize how frequently I think that, which translates to how infrequently I write, which isn't a cutesy intro anymore and is quite depressing which in turn leaves me in a puddle of disappointment resulting in me setting a writing goal for myself that I never ultimately reach because I procrastinate and only write when I'm moved to which I've learned is a terribly way to set goals. My was that a long sentence or what?
There is something consistent about when I write though, it's usually in the wee hours of the morning when I should be asleep. So perhaps noticing this pattern will help me in reaching said writing goal that I haven't actually set for fear of failing to achieve it. Speaking of fear, I'm taking improv 101 at UCB! My graduation show is actually today so I'm looking forward to crossing that mountain. I've been encouraged to take improv for over a year, but a mixture of fear, brokeness and procrastination have pushed it off till now. Well, better late than never amiright?....
Three things about improv:
1. You don't know what's gonna happen and that's ok. I'm a perpetual planner. I was the college student who meticulously planned and carved out multiple paths to my class schedules three semesters ahead. There's no planning in improv, you literally make it up as you go, so college class schedules be damned. You better yes and and go!
2. I'm not taking improv to be a better actor. I definitely hope to be a better performer yes, but ideally my growth comes as a byproduct of me being a better human. Yep, I'm taking an improv class to be a better human. Someone (or maybe it was myself) asked me what type of woman I want to be in the future. Every now and then I think about that question and who my my ideal self is (multi-lingual, instruemnt playing, badass Omono) and I take baby steps to fill her out, hence improv. Next on my list is buying a keyboard.
3. The worst that can happen is, you suck. And even then, sucking is subjective. This is my mantra as I head into my grad show. Plus, the audience is going to be filled with mainly our family and friends so I'm assuming a more forgiving audience. Either way, I'm surprisingly not scared. Wait what??! The woman who's default emotion is fear is not scared? Yes my friends, I am not afraid. This is a turning point for me, one that I hope repeats itself in many moments to come. I am not afraid. And I'm not saying that as a motivational self inspiring hype up, I am genuinely not scared of what today holds. It's probably because I don't have any lines to learn and because you can't really prep for improv. I mean you can, but you just gotta live in the moment tu sabes?